"Safe and Sound"
"I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, I'll never let you go
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, 'don't leave me here alone'
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
Don't you dare look out your window darling
Everything's on fire
The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold onto this lullaby
Even when the music's gone
Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound..."
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Thought #57
"No comfort in the greeting card
Cause God is good,
But life's so hard
Well I know you're past the point of broken
Surrounded by your fears
I know you're faint and tired and lonely
From the road that you walked down here
But just keep your eyes on Heaven
And know that you are not alone
Remember the reason for the world...
Maybe the reason for the pain
Is so we would pray for strength
And maybe the reason for the strength
Is so that we would not lose hope
And maybe the reason for all hope
Is so that we could face the world
And the reason for the world
Is to make us long for home
No ear has heard
No eye has seen
Not even in your wildest dreams
A beauty that awaits beyond this world
When you look into the eyes of grace
And hear the voice of mercy say
Child, welcome to the reason for the world."
Cause God is good,
But life's so hard
Well I know you're past the point of broken
Surrounded by your fears
I know you're faint and tired and lonely
From the road that you walked down here
But just keep your eyes on Heaven
And know that you are not alone
Remember the reason for the world...
Maybe the reason for the pain
Is so we would pray for strength
And maybe the reason for the strength
Is so that we would not lose hope
And maybe the reason for all hope
Is so that we could face the world
And the reason for the world
Is to make us long for home
No ear has heard
No eye has seen
Not even in your wildest dreams
A beauty that awaits beyond this world
When you look into the eyes of grace
And hear the voice of mercy say
Child, welcome to the reason for the world."
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thought #56
"When your dreams lie broken around you; your plans have been destroyed before your eyes; and your hopes have all been dashed at your feet; remember, it may look bleak from our perspective, but God is working out His perfect will in your life and mine. So, may we walk confidently with our hand held safely in His grasp, even when we cannot see the way or understand the why. Our duty to Him is to walk with Him humbly by faith until He brings us to the place where He has already placed our provisions. You see, while we are toiling here today, He has already gone into tomorrow and arranged our path, supplied our need and lifted our burden. Therefore, just keep walking; just take one step at time. You will arrive at the place where the questions are answered and the needs are met, in His time!"
Faith is willing to go where God leads it, regardless of the cost and regardless of the consequences. Real faith says, “On the surface, this looks like the worst thing that I have ever faced. Still, I know God has gone ahead of me and that He had planned the path I will take. Therefore, I will not look to the right or to the left, but I will faithfully place my feet in the footprints He has already left in front of me. I will follow Him wherever He sends me and I will not turn back, in spite of what I may face. It may look like a nightmare at this moment; but I know that His plan is the best plan and that He will take this tragedy and turn it into a triumph. Therefore, I say, ‘Here am I send me, Oh Lord!’”
Faith is willing to go where God leads it, regardless of the cost and regardless of the consequences. Real faith says, “On the surface, this looks like the worst thing that I have ever faced. Still, I know God has gone ahead of me and that He had planned the path I will take. Therefore, I will not look to the right or to the left, but I will faithfully place my feet in the footprints He has already left in front of me. I will follow Him wherever He sends me and I will not turn back, in spite of what I may face. It may look like a nightmare at this moment; but I know that His plan is the best plan and that He will take this tragedy and turn it into a triumph. Therefore, I say, ‘Here am I send me, Oh Lord!’”
Thought #55
"You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book."
~ Psalm 56:8
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book."
~ Psalm 56:8
Monday, October 24, 2011
Thought #54
"I wasn't very happy with God about any of this. I knew in my head that God is in control and that He had not in fact forgotten about me, or made some kind of mistake. I had always been taught that, and I believed it, but that didn't keep me from getting very frustrated at whatever plan He was working on with all of this. I had had a pretty good life, and now it was all messed up. It turns out though, that when you know the truth in your head, it does eventually make its way to your heart. After many months I started talking to God again, and He was right there. He really can be trusted."
~ Cliff Jenkin
~ Cliff Jenkin
Monday, October 17, 2011
Thought #53
"Give me faith to trust what You say, that You're good and Your Love is great. I'm broken inside. I give you my life...Give me faith."
Remember a few months ago when I posted about taking advantage of every minute of my present as to not wish away any of it. Well I failed at that yesterday...I spent so much time yesterday wishing for it to just be 2013 already rather than thanking God for the moments I was experiencing then. Sometimes it's so hard to be positive in this world because honestly, this life sucks. It's not perfect and it's hard - harder than I ever would have imagined. Life will not be perfect until Heaven, but I need to try to live realistically and as optimistic as possible because God has given me this day when He did not need to do so. God, please give me strength because I cannot do this on my own...
Remember a few months ago when I posted about taking advantage of every minute of my present as to not wish away any of it. Well I failed at that yesterday...I spent so much time yesterday wishing for it to just be 2013 already rather than thanking God for the moments I was experiencing then. Sometimes it's so hard to be positive in this world because honestly, this life sucks. It's not perfect and it's hard - harder than I ever would have imagined. Life will not be perfect until Heaven, but I need to try to live realistically and as optimistic as possible because God has given me this day when He did not need to do so. God, please give me strength because I cannot do this on my own...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Thought #52
"Our love has been anything but perfect and anything but static. Inevitably there have been times when one of us has outrun the other and has had to wait patiently for the other to catch up. There have been times when we have misunderstood each other, demanded too much of each other, been insensitive to the other's needs. I do not believe there is any marriage where this does not happen. The growth of love is not a straight line, but a series of hills and valleys. I suspect that in every good marriage there are times when love seems to be over. Sometimes, these desert lines are simply the only way to the next oasis, which is far more lush and beautiful after the desert crossing than it could possibly have been without it."
~ Madeleine L'Engle, Two-Part Invention
~ Madeleine L'Engle, Two-Part Invention
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Thought #51
"My God is bigger than my storm."
“I may be weak, but your Spirit’s strong in me//My flesh may fail, but my God you never will.”
"I'm not going back. I'm moving ahead. I'm here to declare to you my past is over. In you all things are made new. I'm moving, moving forward."
"I may be down, but I will rise. It may be dark, but God is light."
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
“I may be weak, but your Spirit’s strong in me//My flesh may fail, but my God you never will.”
"I'm not going back. I'm moving ahead. I'm here to declare to you my past is over. In you all things are made new. I'm moving, moving forward."
"I may be down, but I will rise. It may be dark, but God is light."
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Thought #50
"I'm thinking that sometimes you just have to make the decision to be happy. Just decide. Things aren't ever what you hoped they'd be. Not ever, for anybody. The only thing that separates one kind of person from another is there are some who stay angry about it and there are some who accept what comes their way."
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Thought #49
"God's plan and His ways of working out His plan are frequently beyond our ability to fathom and understand. We must learn to trust when we don't understand." (Jerry Bridges)
Recently I've been struggling a lot with life. I worry SO MUCH about the future: about where I'm gonna be in a few years, what I will be doing, where I will be living, who I will be with (if anyone)...so many questions and worries. I also worry about my present life. I have a hard time just releasing it all and giving it all to God. I know that He is in control, but it's so hard to just let go when I don't understand what He's doing. Sometimes life just hurts so much, and I do not understand why, and I try to fix it, but I can't. I can't fix it. I can't understand it. But God tells me I can't worry about it. He is holding me in His hand. He's holding me. He's got me. He cares about the sparrows...why do I worry? Why can't I stop worrying and just let it all go and let God take care of it because He can deal with my crappy life so much better than I ever could imagine dealing with it.
Recently I've been struggling a lot with life. I worry SO MUCH about the future: about where I'm gonna be in a few years, what I will be doing, where I will be living, who I will be with (if anyone)...so many questions and worries. I also worry about my present life. I have a hard time just releasing it all and giving it all to God. I know that He is in control, but it's so hard to just let go when I don't understand what He's doing. Sometimes life just hurts so much, and I do not understand why, and I try to fix it, but I can't. I can't fix it. I can't understand it. But God tells me I can't worry about it. He is holding me in His hand. He's holding me. He's got me. He cares about the sparrows...why do I worry? Why can't I stop worrying and just let it all go and let God take care of it because He can deal with my crappy life so much better than I ever could imagine dealing with it.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Thought #48
Leaving...
"My prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves…We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn’t it? I want to repeat one word for you: Leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn’t it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don’t worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."
And another quote...not quite about leaving but about life:
"Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living."
"My prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves…We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn’t it? I want to repeat one word for you: Leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn’t it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don’t worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."
And another quote...not quite about leaving but about life:
"Life is painful and messed up. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. But that’s why we have to keep trying. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. Sometimes the things that hurt us are the things that make us strongest. A life without experience, in my opinion, is no life at all. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living."
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Thought #47
The lady I posted about earlier - the one whose blog I am following - the one who's going through the loss of her husband - wrote a post today which really struck me as relevant. She wrote about the word "Wrestle." She went through different times this word is used in the Scriptures, and at the end of her post, she said that there was a "gift inside the word" - the rest in wrestling. I really liked what she wrote next, so I'm just going to copy it here:
"Perhaps one evokes the other. Perhaps they are mutually inclusive.
Perhaps the rest is within the journey, rather than the result at the end.
I don't know. I really don't know.
But one must be part of the other. It's there, in black and white."
I love this. There is rest in wrestling...somehow and someway...even if I don't feel it or see it, it's there. God gives grace even in the lowest of times...
"Perhaps one evokes the other. Perhaps they are mutually inclusive.
Perhaps the rest is within the journey, rather than the result at the end.
I don't know. I really don't know.
But one must be part of the other. It's there, in black and white."
I love this. There is rest in wrestling...somehow and someway...even if I don't feel it or see it, it's there. God gives grace even in the lowest of times...
Thought #46
"This is life. Don't miss it."
This weekend, my family and I travelled to New York for my grandpa's funeral. On the way back from the burial, Francesca Battistelli's new song 'Don't Miss It' came on my iPod. It made me reflect on how I've been living the past few years: in fast forward. Yes, I have had good, enjoyable times and memories; however, most of the time, I've been counting down to times in the future rather than enjoying or being content in the present. I am getting ready to head back to Cedarville for my third year in a week, and as I think back on the past two years, I look back with regret because most of the time I wished away, counting down to events in the future. Now I know this is easy to say at this time, but this year, I am going to strive to work hard at not missing or wishing away the present because as this weekend reminded me, we never know when our time on this earth will end. And no matter how much I wish for stuff in the future, time will not go any faster or slower.
Yes, this is going to be extremely difficult, and I am going to struggle with this every single day because a lot of my life has been completed in fast forward: when I was in grammar school, I looked forward to middle school, middle school --> high school, high school --> senior year, senior year --> graduation, graduation --> college, freshman year --> sophomore year, sophomore year --> graduation/wedding, etc.
I *NEED* to STOP this trend!! I need to learn contentment. Actually, while I was writing this, John Waller's song 'While I'm Waiting' came on, and it really applies:
"I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord"
I need to focus on these words this year...
While I'm waiting for all the things I want to count down towards...
While I'm waiting for breaks from school...
While I'm waiting for graduation...
While I'm waiting for my wedding...
While I'm waiting for a job...
While I'm waiting for my future...
While I'm waiting...for whatever...I need to be content in the Lord and trust that He has put me where He wants me at the present time. And the future will come soon enough.
This is life. I'm not gonna miss it anymore!
This weekend, my family and I travelled to New York for my grandpa's funeral. On the way back from the burial, Francesca Battistelli's new song 'Don't Miss It' came on my iPod. It made me reflect on how I've been living the past few years: in fast forward. Yes, I have had good, enjoyable times and memories; however, most of the time, I've been counting down to times in the future rather than enjoying or being content in the present. I am getting ready to head back to Cedarville for my third year in a week, and as I think back on the past two years, I look back with regret because most of the time I wished away, counting down to events in the future. Now I know this is easy to say at this time, but this year, I am going to strive to work hard at not missing or wishing away the present because as this weekend reminded me, we never know when our time on this earth will end. And no matter how much I wish for stuff in the future, time will not go any faster or slower.
Yes, this is going to be extremely difficult, and I am going to struggle with this every single day because a lot of my life has been completed in fast forward: when I was in grammar school, I looked forward to middle school, middle school --> high school, high school --> senior year, senior year --> graduation, graduation --> college, freshman year --> sophomore year, sophomore year --> graduation/wedding, etc.
I *NEED* to STOP this trend!! I need to learn contentment. Actually, while I was writing this, John Waller's song 'While I'm Waiting' came on, and it really applies:
"I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord"
I need to focus on these words this year...
While I'm waiting for all the things I want to count down towards...
While I'm waiting for breaks from school...
While I'm waiting for graduation...
While I'm waiting for my wedding...
While I'm waiting for a job...
While I'm waiting for my future...
While I'm waiting...for whatever...I need to be content in the Lord and trust that He has put me where He wants me at the present time. And the future will come soon enough.
This is life. I'm not gonna miss it anymore!
Thought #45
During Mayterm, I took a flash fiction class, and recently, I was inspired to write another piece. So here it is...
"She can't have a normal life.
She can't stay out past 11.
She can't have him over at her house.
She can't have him in her car.
She can't go to family gatherings without being looked down upon.
She can't go to his family gatherings without her family getting upset.
She can't go through a day without something demeaning said to her or about her.
She can't spend more than 15 minutes around her family without feeling the extreme tension, conflict, and brokenness.
She can't call her parents with excitement and happiness and joy when he gives her a ring.
She can't go wedding dress shopping with her mom or grandmother.
She can't put the wedding date on her family's calendar - they won't be coming.
She can't have her sister as the maid of honor.
She can't be the bride who wears white walking down the aisle, escorted by a proud father.
She can't call her parents with joy when the pregnancy test comes back positive - because half the child is his.
She can't bring the grandkids over to their grandparents house.
She can't get her children to understand.
She can't keep hiding behind a fake smile...
She can't keep living this way...
She just can't anymore..."
"She can't have a normal life.
She can't stay out past 11.
She can't have him over at her house.
She can't have him in her car.
She can't go to family gatherings without being looked down upon.
She can't go to his family gatherings without her family getting upset.
She can't go through a day without something demeaning said to her or about her.
She can't spend more than 15 minutes around her family without feeling the extreme tension, conflict, and brokenness.
She can't call her parents with excitement and happiness and joy when he gives her a ring.
She can't go wedding dress shopping with her mom or grandmother.
She can't put the wedding date on her family's calendar - they won't be coming.
She can't have her sister as the maid of honor.
She can't be the bride who wears white walking down the aisle, escorted by a proud father.
She can't call her parents with joy when the pregnancy test comes back positive - because half the child is his.
She can't bring the grandkids over to their grandparents house.
She can't get her children to understand.
She can't keep hiding behind a fake smile...
She can't keep living this way...
She just can't anymore..."
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Thought #44
"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
I only have a few friends who fit into all of these...
I only have a few friends who fit into all of these...
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Thought #43
WARNING: Before you read any further, know this: I am going to be brutally honest in this post. Actually I have decided to be brutally honest in my posts from now on. My purpose in writing this blog was not to gloss over facts but to delve into situations and feelings and thoughts, so from now on, that's what I will be doing. One of my friends who read this piece, told me after reading "wow...it's a lot of pain." And yes, it is...it is full of pain and truth and honesty...
~~~
So today I read a post by someone whose blog I have been following since January. Her husband died in her arms around Christmastime this past year, and she has been blogging about her daily struggles since then. I have learned so much from her and been taught about how much I think I have it bad when others struggle so much more than me on a daily basis. Anyway, her post today really struck me because I could relate. She was talking about how she gets so jealous when she sees couples or hears people talking about couples in love because she misses her husband so much and feels "so horribly wronged" sometimes because he was taken away from her and they still have their husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend. Her post was entitled "insanely jealous," and I was inspired to write one for myself since I could relate...so here goes:
~~~
During the school year, I walk around campus and see couples all over, walking hand-in-hand, heading out on dates, eating meals together, going to classes together, doing homework together...while I walk alone, my fiance 150 miles away. During the summer, I see posts on Facebook about couples missing their girlfriend/boyfriend and counting down the weeks till summer ends.
My jealously and angst rises. Must be nice to only be away from your boyfriend for a couple months throughout the year. Must be nice to have them around almost all year round and only have to spend 90-ish days away from them, while I only get 90-ish days to be with mine. Even then, when I'm home during the summer, I'm working full-time and taking classes and he's working full-time and has several other responsibilities to take up his time, so even then, we only see each other once a week for an hour or two date, if that much. I haven't gone on a date in almost three weeks...I haven't seen him in almost three weeks...and we live five minutes from each other during the summer...
~~~
I turn on the television. A movie is on about a couple dating and they're hanging out and having fun, as any normal life would be. A show is on where couples do struggle through daily crisis; however, they see each other and deal with them, and their lives are significantly more normal than mine.
~~~
I see normal relationships, normal lives all around me. Struggles fill their lives, yes, but to an extent, there is normalcy. I want that. I want it so bad.
"I must guard my heart if I am to get through the day, let alone this month. And sometimes that means I must simply walk away. Read something else. Stop listening. Disengage. Lest I publicly give into the rage inside me that feels so horribly wronged."
~~~
I can relate to this woman's struggles with jealously - not in the same way or most likely not as intensely - but I can relate, and I can struggle along with her and have in mind that I am not alone in my struggles. Someone else out there is struggling too. I am not alone...at times that's all the comfort I have...the comfort in knowing that I am not alone...
~~~
So today I read a post by someone whose blog I have been following since January. Her husband died in her arms around Christmastime this past year, and she has been blogging about her daily struggles since then. I have learned so much from her and been taught about how much I think I have it bad when others struggle so much more than me on a daily basis. Anyway, her post today really struck me because I could relate. She was talking about how she gets so jealous when she sees couples or hears people talking about couples in love because she misses her husband so much and feels "so horribly wronged" sometimes because he was taken away from her and they still have their husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend. Her post was entitled "insanely jealous," and I was inspired to write one for myself since I could relate...so here goes:
~~~
During the school year, I walk around campus and see couples all over, walking hand-in-hand, heading out on dates, eating meals together, going to classes together, doing homework together...while I walk alone, my fiance 150 miles away. During the summer, I see posts on Facebook about couples missing their girlfriend/boyfriend and counting down the weeks till summer ends.
My jealously and angst rises. Must be nice to only be away from your boyfriend for a couple months throughout the year. Must be nice to have them around almost all year round and only have to spend 90-ish days away from them, while I only get 90-ish days to be with mine. Even then, when I'm home during the summer, I'm working full-time and taking classes and he's working full-time and has several other responsibilities to take up his time, so even then, we only see each other once a week for an hour or two date, if that much. I haven't gone on a date in almost three weeks...I haven't seen him in almost three weeks...and we live five minutes from each other during the summer...
~~~
I turn on the television. A movie is on about a couple dating and they're hanging out and having fun, as any normal life would be. A show is on where couples do struggle through daily crisis; however, they see each other and deal with them, and their lives are significantly more normal than mine.
~~~
I see normal relationships, normal lives all around me. Struggles fill their lives, yes, but to an extent, there is normalcy. I want that. I want it so bad.
"I must guard my heart if I am to get through the day, let alone this month. And sometimes that means I must simply walk away. Read something else. Stop listening. Disengage. Lest I publicly give into the rage inside me that feels so horribly wronged."
~~~
I can relate to this woman's struggles with jealously - not in the same way or most likely not as intensely - but I can relate, and I can struggle along with her and have in mind that I am not alone in my struggles. Someone else out there is struggling too. I am not alone...at times that's all the comfort I have...the comfort in knowing that I am not alone...
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Thought #42
Steven Curtis Chapman is coming out with a new album next month. One of his singles was just released on the air. This song hit home with me when I heard it today...
Long Way Home (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpYEwbHPjrs&feature=related)
"I set out on a great adventure the day my Father started leading me home. He said there's gonna be some mountains to climb and some valleys we're gonna go through. But I had no way of knowing just how hard this journey could be. Cuz the mountains are steeper and the valleys are deeper than I ever would've dreamed.
But I know we're gonna make it. And I know we're gonna get there soon. And I know sometimes it seems like we're going the wrong way. But it's just a long way home.
Some rocks in my shoes, fears I wish I could lose. They make the mountains so hard to climb. And my heart gets so heavy with the weight of the world sometimes. And there's a bag of regrets and 'should have beens' and 'not yets' I keep on dragging around, and I can hardly wait till the day I get to lay them all down.
Well I know that day is coming. And I know it's gonna be here soon. And I won't turn back even if the whole world says I'm going the wrong way. Cuz it's just a long way home.
And when we can't take another step, the Father will pick us up and carry us in His arms. And even on the best days, He says to remember we're not home yet, so don't get too comfortable cuz really all we are is just pilgrims passing through.
Our God has made a promise, and I know everything He says is true, and He promised He would never ever leave us. He's gonna lead us. He'll lead us home - every single step of the long way home. So keep on. We're gonna make it."
Long Way Home (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpYEwbHPjrs&feature=related)
"I set out on a great adventure the day my Father started leading me home. He said there's gonna be some mountains to climb and some valleys we're gonna go through. But I had no way of knowing just how hard this journey could be. Cuz the mountains are steeper and the valleys are deeper than I ever would've dreamed.
But I know we're gonna make it. And I know we're gonna get there soon. And I know sometimes it seems like we're going the wrong way. But it's just a long way home.
Some rocks in my shoes, fears I wish I could lose. They make the mountains so hard to climb. And my heart gets so heavy with the weight of the world sometimes. And there's a bag of regrets and 'should have beens' and 'not yets' I keep on dragging around, and I can hardly wait till the day I get to lay them all down.
Well I know that day is coming. And I know it's gonna be here soon. And I won't turn back even if the whole world says I'm going the wrong way. Cuz it's just a long way home.
And when we can't take another step, the Father will pick us up and carry us in His arms. And even on the best days, He says to remember we're not home yet, so don't get too comfortable cuz really all we are is just pilgrims passing through.
Our God has made a promise, and I know everything He says is true, and He promised He would never ever leave us. He's gonna lead us. He'll lead us home - every single step of the long way home. So keep on. We're gonna make it."
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thought #41
Two songs struck a chord with me tonight...
1. Just Cry by Mandisa
"Why you gotta act be so strong
Go ahead and take off your brave face
Why you tellin me that nothin's wrong
It's obvious your not in a good place
Who's tellin you to keep it all inside
And never let those feelings
Get past the corner of your eye
You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry
I know you know your Sunday songs
A dozen verse by memory
Yeah they're good but life is hard
And days get long
You gotta know God can handle your honesty
So feel the things your feeling
And a sadness, loneliness and anger
Let it out, let it out
You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry
Just cry
It doesn't mean you don't trust him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redemming everything
You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
But tonight it's alright
Just cry
Why you gotta act so strong
Go ahead and take off your brave face"
2. What If We were Real by Mandisa
"Well, I'm tired of saying everything
I feel like I'm supposed to say
I'm tired of smiling all the time
I wanna throw the mask away
Sometimes you just have a bad day
Sometimes you just wanna scream
Tell me I'm not the only one
Tell me that you feel just like me
We keep tryin to make it look so nice
And we keep hidin' what's goin on inside
But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess
What if we were real
What if we were real
I'm over hidin my tears
I think I'm gonna let em' go
I'm over actin so strong
When I ain't even in control
We make it so complicated
But why does it have to be
Why can't we open our hearts and let everybody see
We keep tryin to make it look so nice
And we keep hidin' what's goin on inside
But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess
What if we were real
We'd think a little less of ourselves
We'd care about someone else
'Cause we'd know just how they feel
Maybe we could let someone love us
Maybe we'd a little more like Jesus
Why can't we learn to real
We keep tryin to make it look so nice
And we keep hidin' what's goin on inside
But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess
What if we were real
You've got to be real
You've got to be real
You've got to be real
You've got to
You've got to"
1. Just Cry by Mandisa
"Why you gotta act be so strong
Go ahead and take off your brave face
Why you tellin me that nothin's wrong
It's obvious your not in a good place
Who's tellin you to keep it all inside
And never let those feelings
Get past the corner of your eye
You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry
I know you know your Sunday songs
A dozen verse by memory
Yeah they're good but life is hard
And days get long
You gotta know God can handle your honesty
So feel the things your feeling
And a sadness, loneliness and anger
Let it out, let it out
You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry
Just cry
It doesn't mean you don't trust him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redemming everything
You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
But tonight it's alright
Just cry
Why you gotta act so strong
Go ahead and take off your brave face"
2. What If We were Real by Mandisa
"Well, I'm tired of saying everything
I feel like I'm supposed to say
I'm tired of smiling all the time
I wanna throw the mask away
Sometimes you just have a bad day
Sometimes you just wanna scream
Tell me I'm not the only one
Tell me that you feel just like me
We keep tryin to make it look so nice
And we keep hidin' what's goin on inside
But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess
What if we were real
What if we were real
I'm over hidin my tears
I think I'm gonna let em' go
I'm over actin so strong
When I ain't even in control
We make it so complicated
But why does it have to be
Why can't we open our hearts and let everybody see
We keep tryin to make it look so nice
And we keep hidin' what's goin on inside
But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess
What if we were real
We'd think a little less of ourselves
We'd care about someone else
'Cause we'd know just how they feel
Maybe we could let someone love us
Maybe we'd a little more like Jesus
Why can't we learn to real
We keep tryin to make it look so nice
And we keep hidin' what's goin on inside
But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess
What if we were real
You've got to be real
You've got to be real
You've got to be real
You've got to
You've got to"
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thought #40
Wow...I have not posted on here in a while. Well here is a quote that really encouraged me today:
"The biggest comfort to me lately has been the realization that God loves me SO MUCH that He choose to change and refine me in this way. Fun? No. Glamorous? hardly. But that simple truth.. HE LOVES me, and is refining me for something BETTER... that's the kind of truth that gives you reason to get out of bed in the morning."
And here is another quote that encouraged me yesterday:
“O My child, lay your heart in My hand, and let Me heal it. Let me gather up your tears, for they are precious to Me. You, my child, have not been suffering alone, But I Myself have been near you all along the way. My heart has felt all that you have felt, you do not have a high priest who is not able to sympathize with your sufferings but one who experienced every grief and human emotion common to all people. He is the one who is able to help you. He is the one who having walked in the same path Himself, is able to teach you how, in the midst of these human experiences of hurts, frustrations, loneliness, and heartache, that you may rise above the natural tendencies to fall into the sins of self-pity, self-reproach, depression of spirit, resentment and the like. IT IS NOT EASY. Not only is it not easy, but in the natural, in the flesh, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. But the same grace I promised to the apostle Paul to help him bear his affliction is the same grace I will give to you. You may bring the whole of your burden to me. I will help you as the days go by, as the trials come and go, and as the learning process continues, I will teach you the spiritual secrets of the art of committal. For in COMPLETE and REPEATED COMMITTAL lies the key to victory! The valleys become less deep and less dark and more quickly passed through (with each trail you endure.) I have promised to deliver you out of all your troubles, so now, will you take your first steps in this experience of committal and give Me your heart? Make it as tangible a transaction as possible, and visualize your own hand laying the physical organ of your heart in My hands. Then say to Me, “Take this, Loving Master and Wonderful Lord, and do with it as pleases You.”
"The biggest comfort to me lately has been the realization that God loves me SO MUCH that He choose to change and refine me in this way. Fun? No. Glamorous? hardly. But that simple truth.. HE LOVES me, and is refining me for something BETTER... that's the kind of truth that gives you reason to get out of bed in the morning."
And here is another quote that encouraged me yesterday:
“O My child, lay your heart in My hand, and let Me heal it. Let me gather up your tears, for they are precious to Me. You, my child, have not been suffering alone, But I Myself have been near you all along the way. My heart has felt all that you have felt, you do not have a high priest who is not able to sympathize with your sufferings but one who experienced every grief and human emotion common to all people. He is the one who is able to help you. He is the one who having walked in the same path Himself, is able to teach you how, in the midst of these human experiences of hurts, frustrations, loneliness, and heartache, that you may rise above the natural tendencies to fall into the sins of self-pity, self-reproach, depression of spirit, resentment and the like. IT IS NOT EASY. Not only is it not easy, but in the natural, in the flesh, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. But the same grace I promised to the apostle Paul to help him bear his affliction is the same grace I will give to you. You may bring the whole of your burden to me. I will help you as the days go by, as the trials come and go, and as the learning process continues, I will teach you the spiritual secrets of the art of committal. For in COMPLETE and REPEATED COMMITTAL lies the key to victory! The valleys become less deep and less dark and more quickly passed through (with each trail you endure.) I have promised to deliver you out of all your troubles, so now, will you take your first steps in this experience of committal and give Me your heart? Make it as tangible a transaction as possible, and visualize your own hand laying the physical organ of your heart in My hands. Then say to Me, “Take this, Loving Master and Wonderful Lord, and do with it as pleases You.”
Friday, June 3, 2011
Thought #39
Week #1 of summer is complete...
My first week of work finished at 5 pm and I just turned in my last assignment for the week in Biology. Ah...time to relax now...
I start house-sitting bright and early tomorrow morning around 8 am, so all that's left to do is pack tonight and then I can be completely done with everything that needs to be worked on until tomorrow : ) I can't believe that it's already June. I have a feeling this summer is going to go by pretty fast, which is a good thing!
My first week of work finished at 5 pm and I just turned in my last assignment for the week in Biology. Ah...time to relax now...
I start house-sitting bright and early tomorrow morning around 8 am, so all that's left to do is pack tonight and then I can be completely done with everything that needs to be worked on until tomorrow : ) I can't believe that it's already June. I have a feeling this summer is going to go by pretty fast, which is a good thing!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thought #38
Today I'm thinking about Hillsong's song Soon.
"I will be with the One I love. With unveiled face, I'll see Him. There my soul will be satisfied, soon and very soon."
Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
"I will be with the One I love. With unveiled face, I'll see Him. There my soul will be satisfied, soon and very soon."
Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thought #37
Mayterm is over...
...and I am now home for the summer...finally! It's so weird to be back home for an extended period of time. It's weird to even be back home, since I did not come back many times this year, especially compared to last year. Anyway, summer is going to be crazy. My online class officially starts Tuesday, but I already have homework I should be working on...I have a paper from my Mayterm class that I have to complete by the end of June, and work starts Tuesday. Sooo even though it is the summer, it is definitely going to be insane, as always...=/
...and I am now home for the summer...finally! It's so weird to be back home for an extended period of time. It's weird to even be back home, since I did not come back many times this year, especially compared to last year. Anyway, summer is going to be crazy. My online class officially starts Tuesday, but I already have homework I should be working on...I have a paper from my Mayterm class that I have to complete by the end of June, and work starts Tuesday. Sooo even though it is the summer, it is definitely going to be insane, as always...=/
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Thought #36
"Wait and See"
~ Brandon Heath
I was born in Tennessee, late July humidity,
Doctors said I was lucky to be alive
I've been troubled since the day that I got here,
Troubled to the day I disappear
That'll be the day that I finally get it right
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
I never really was that good in school;
Talked too much, broke the rules
My teachers thought I was a hopeless fool, all right.
I don't know how but I made it through,
It's one of those things you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth.
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
Still wonderin' why I'm here.
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh... HE's up to something,
And the farther out I go,
I've seen enough to know
That I'm not here for nothin'...
He's up to somethin'.
So now's my time to be a man,
Follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin' where I'm ending up tonight
I never slow down (or so it seems),
But singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight.
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
GOD, teach me to trust You
Teach me to follow You
Teach me about You
GOD, bless us
GOD, lead us
~ Brandon Heath
I was born in Tennessee, late July humidity,
Doctors said I was lucky to be alive
I've been troubled since the day that I got here,
Troubled to the day I disappear
That'll be the day that I finally get it right
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
I never really was that good in school;
Talked too much, broke the rules
My teachers thought I was a hopeless fool, all right.
I don't know how but I made it through,
It's one of those things you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth.
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
Still wonderin' why I'm here.
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh... HE's up to something,
And the farther out I go,
I've seen enough to know
That I'm not here for nothin'...
He's up to somethin'.
So now's my time to be a man,
Follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin' where I'm ending up tonight
I never slow down (or so it seems),
But singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight.
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
GOD, teach me to trust You
Teach me to follow You
Teach me about You
GOD, bless us
GOD, lead us
Monday, May 16, 2011
Thought #35
This was written during WW2, on the wall of a cellar, by a Jew in the Cologne concentration camp. It really spoke to me and encouraged me to keep pushing forwards even when I don't feel like it anymore.
"I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love,
even when there's no one there.
And I believe in God,
even when he is silent.
I believe through any trial,
there is always a way
But sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
My heart cries for shelter,
to know someone's there
But a voice rises within me, saying hold on
my child, I'll give you strength,
I'll give you hope. Just stay a little while.
I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love
even when there's no one there
But I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way.
May there someday be sunshine
May there someday be happiness
May there someday be love
May there someday be peace...."
- Unknown
"I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love,
even when there's no one there.
And I believe in God,
even when he is silent.
I believe through any trial,
there is always a way
But sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
My heart cries for shelter,
to know someone's there
But a voice rises within me, saying hold on
my child, I'll give you strength,
I'll give you hope. Just stay a little while.
I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love
even when there's no one there
But I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way.
May there someday be sunshine
May there someday be happiness
May there someday be love
May there someday be peace...."
- Unknown
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Thought #34
I heard this song today, and it's my life:
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Thought #33
I am praying for...
...peace, mercy, grace, and understanding. So many days I wish for things in my life to change, I wish for a normal life, like so many around me have...but it hasn't happened yet, so I am beginning to think that this may be my "thorn in the flesh," and I may have to live with it the rest of my life. God has a reason why the things are the way they are right now. He has a reason they aren't changing. I just have to trust Him. I have to believe that He will bring *something* good out of it as long as I keep following Him. All I can do is trust and obey.
In a Lit class recently, we read a poem by Mary Angelou, and it really spoke to me. It's called "Still I Rise," and it goes like this:
"You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
This woman went through so much in her life, but she was patient; she surpassed all that was stacked up against her, and she rose and left all that went wrong and was against her. Her life encourages me to keep pushing even when I feel like I have nothing left because with God, I can do anything, even when the future looks bleak.
...peace, mercy, grace, and understanding. So many days I wish for things in my life to change, I wish for a normal life, like so many around me have...but it hasn't happened yet, so I am beginning to think that this may be my "thorn in the flesh," and I may have to live with it the rest of my life. God has a reason why the things are the way they are right now. He has a reason they aren't changing. I just have to trust Him. I have to believe that He will bring *something* good out of it as long as I keep following Him. All I can do is trust and obey.
In a Lit class recently, we read a poem by Mary Angelou, and it really spoke to me. It's called "Still I Rise," and it goes like this:
"You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
This woman went through so much in her life, but she was patient; she surpassed all that was stacked up against her, and she rose and left all that went wrong and was against her. Her life encourages me to keep pushing even when I feel like I have nothing left because with God, I can do anything, even when the future looks bleak.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Thought #32
I am absolutely exhausted...
...so much so that I came back from class today and collapsed on my bed. I had a full day of Mayterm classes. That means, 3 straight hours of Brit Lit starting at 8 am, an hour and a half of Creative Writing till lunch then another hour and a half after lunch. I have never been so umotivated and so dead tired in my life! =/
...so much so that I came back from class today and collapsed on my bed. I had a full day of Mayterm classes. That means, 3 straight hours of Brit Lit starting at 8 am, an hour and a half of Creative Writing till lunch then another hour and a half after lunch. I have never been so umotivated and so dead tired in my life! =/
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Thought #31
I am 1/14th of the way through Mayterm...
And the 13/14ths left are going to be absolutely INSANE! But it will be SO worth it when it is done. On other news, last night was pretty rough. I tend to focus on the negatives of my life, and last night was definitely like this. God has some reason I am still on this earth. Last night I was really wanting God to just take me to Heaven, but I woke up this morning. I am still alive and here...therefore, God has some plan for me--He is not done with me or through me yet. I just have to keep trusting that He's got my best in mind, and He is doing all that is best for me.
And the 13/14ths left are going to be absolutely INSANE! But it will be SO worth it when it is done. On other news, last night was pretty rough. I tend to focus on the negatives of my life, and last night was definitely like this. God has some reason I am still on this earth. Last night I was really wanting God to just take me to Heaven, but I woke up this morning. I am still alive and here...therefore, God has some plan for me--He is not done with me or through me yet. I just have to keep trusting that He's got my best in mind, and He is doing all that is best for me.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Thought #30
This song is my life...
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
Thought #29
I've been busy...
As evidenced by the lack of posting the past two days. On Saturday, I was busy from 10 am to midnight with family and friends. I got to see Aaron play soccer in the morning, then I went out to eat with Dale in the afternoon, and I went to a late night movie with Lindsay and Jordan! All-in-all, I had a very relaxing, awesome day, enjoying every minute I was home. On Sunday after church and lunch, I headed back to school and had to pack up all my stuff and haul it across campus to another dorm for Mayterm. Late last night, Heidi and I finished organizing our room, and we passed out. Today, I worked for a bit this afternoon. The past three days have been crazy, but I am very excited for the next three weeks to fly by, so I can be back at home for the rest of the summer!
As evidenced by the lack of posting the past two days. On Saturday, I was busy from 10 am to midnight with family and friends. I got to see Aaron play soccer in the morning, then I went out to eat with Dale in the afternoon, and I went to a late night movie with Lindsay and Jordan! All-in-all, I had a very relaxing, awesome day, enjoying every minute I was home. On Sunday after church and lunch, I headed back to school and had to pack up all my stuff and haul it across campus to another dorm for Mayterm. Late last night, Heidi and I finished organizing our room, and we passed out. Today, I worked for a bit this afternoon. The past three days have been crazy, but I am very excited for the next three weeks to fly by, so I can be back at home for the rest of the summer!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thought #28
I am done with sophomore year...
And I am home. Sadly I have to go back to school Sunday to start Mayterm...oh well...gotta enjoy home while it lasts...
And I am home. Sadly I have to go back to school Sunday to start Mayterm...oh well...gotta enjoy home while it lasts...
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Thought #27
I turned in my last paper of the semester this morning...
Now I only have two more finals to go, and then I get a mini break before sum...Mayterm... =/ Three more weeks till summer - three weeks of class from 8-3 and work from 3-6 and then homework in the evenings, three weeks of little sleep and tons of learning. Then this summer, I'm taking basically two classes and working 40+ hours a week...then it's back to Cedarville for my third year. When will school end?? I just wanna teach!
= (
Now I only have two more finals to go, and then I get a mini break before sum...Mayterm... =/ Three more weeks till summer - three weeks of class from 8-3 and work from 3-6 and then homework in the evenings, three weeks of little sleep and tons of learning. Then this summer, I'm taking basically two classes and working 40+ hours a week...then it's back to Cedarville for my third year. When will school end?? I just wanna teach!
= (
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Thought #26
Today, I am thankful...
...thankful for sleep, especially after being up working for almost 40 hours straight. I am thankful as well for good friends, who bring me good memories (Tim Hortons - May 2, storage unit trip - May 3, etc). And I am thankful for grace: the grace God gives me every day when I sin, and He does not wipe me off the earth or take away my salvation as well as the grace of God given to my professors who give me second chances... = )
...thankful for sleep, especially after being up working for almost 40 hours straight. I am thankful as well for good friends, who bring me good memories (Tim Hortons - May 2, storage unit trip - May 3, etc). And I am thankful for grace: the grace God gives me every day when I sin, and He does not wipe me off the earth or take away my salvation as well as the grace of God given to my professors who give me second chances... = )
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Thought #25
I am going crazy...
I have not slept in over 24 hours (actually I kinda slept maybe an hour at most on and off this morning)...but my sleep deprivation and insane loads of homework have worn me down, and I am absolutely crazy...add to this a screaming baby from 8 to 1 today, and I have lost my mind...I'm honestly not sure how I'm gonna finish the next four days...
I have not slept in over 24 hours (actually I kinda slept maybe an hour at most on and off this morning)...but my sleep deprivation and insane loads of homework have worn me down, and I am absolutely crazy...add to this a screaming baby from 8 to 1 today, and I have lost my mind...I'm honestly not sure how I'm gonna finish the next four days...
Thought #24
I just pulled an all-nighter...
...And it was such an interesting night! haha. My Lit Analysis final paper is complete, and all that stands in between me and the end of the semester/a weekend break before Mayterm are four final exams: Adv Grammar, American Lit, Lit Analysis, and New Testament...the next two nights are going to be long ones, and I'm starting them off with no sleep already, so I am going to be a dead person very shortly...well I'm off to hopefully get an hour nap or so before getting started on Adv Grammar...it seems like the work never ends... = /
...And it was such an interesting night! haha. My Lit Analysis final paper is complete, and all that stands in between me and the end of the semester/a weekend break before Mayterm are four final exams: Adv Grammar, American Lit, Lit Analysis, and New Testament...the next two nights are going to be long ones, and I'm starting them off with no sleep already, so I am going to be a dead person very shortly...well I'm off to hopefully get an hour nap or so before getting started on Adv Grammar...it seems like the work never ends... = /
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thought #23
I was sitting on my bed...
...when I heard that Bin Laden was killed. I was working on school work at home in 4th grade when I heard that the Twin Towers had been hit. I don't know where I will be when I find out that the war is over and our troops are on their way home, but I pray that this happens during my lifetime. I know that there will never be perfect peace until Jesus returns, but having our troops home and safe would be really awesome!
I was and am kind of disturbed by all of the Facebook posts and blog posts celebrating Bin Laden's death. We are not and will not ever be a perfect country, and we definitely hold ourselves too highly at times. Last night was one of those times. Yes, we have taken down a very high, powerful enemy to this country, but that does not mean that America is above everything and everyone else.
None of this is to say that I do not support the troops. I do. Very much so. I have had many friends who are in the military, and I support them all.
But I do not believe we should be celebrating in a person (made in God's image, by the way)'s death. This article http://www.revelife.com/746839071/the-death-of-osama-bin-laden-and-the-christian-reaction/ provided good reflections on this topic.
...when I heard that Bin Laden was killed. I was working on school work at home in 4th grade when I heard that the Twin Towers had been hit. I don't know where I will be when I find out that the war is over and our troops are on their way home, but I pray that this happens during my lifetime. I know that there will never be perfect peace until Jesus returns, but having our troops home and safe would be really awesome!
I was and am kind of disturbed by all of the Facebook posts and blog posts celebrating Bin Laden's death. We are not and will not ever be a perfect country, and we definitely hold ourselves too highly at times. Last night was one of those times. Yes, we have taken down a very high, powerful enemy to this country, but that does not mean that America is above everything and everyone else.
None of this is to say that I do not support the troops. I do. Very much so. I have had many friends who are in the military, and I support them all.
But I do not believe we should be celebrating in a person (made in God's image, by the way)'s death. This article http://www.revelife.com/746839071/the-death-of-osama-bin-laden-and-the-christian-reaction/ provided good reflections on this topic.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thought #21
I took the Praxis II PLT exam this morning...
And I think it went really well!!! Other news, I went hiking with some good friends in a new section of town, and it was beautiful! : ) Now we are getting ready for Elliv 2011, and I'm psyched! Looking forward to its excitement and craziness! Only one more week till I'm a junior! :D
And I think it went really well!!! Other news, I went hiking with some good friends in a new section of town, and it was beautiful! : ) Now we are getting ready for Elliv 2011, and I'm psyched! Looking forward to its excitement and craziness! Only one more week till I'm a junior! :D
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thought #20
I finished my paper...
...and I corrected my other paper, which I turned in this afternoon. This week has just been ridiculous. Thankfully, it's over, and this weekend is going to be so much less stressful. Once Monday comes, though, the stress once again begins...but it will be all over in just a week! : )
...and I corrected my other paper, which I turned in this afternoon. This week has just been ridiculous. Thankfully, it's over, and this weekend is going to be so much less stressful. Once Monday comes, though, the stress once again begins...but it will be all over in just a week! : )
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Thought #19
I am about halfway done with this beast of a paper...
And I only have a little under six hours before it's due...I'm stressing out! But I am so glad I just went to bed last night instead of working more on this because I got more accomplished sleeping than I would have attempting to write...and I work better under pressure anyways, so here I am working like a madwoman trying to write 6 analysis pages in under 6 hours...ahhhh! Hopefully I won't go completely batty when this week is over!
And I only have a little under six hours before it's due...I'm stressing out! But I am so glad I just went to bed last night instead of working more on this because I got more accomplished sleeping than I would have attempting to write...and I work better under pressure anyways, so here I am working like a madwoman trying to write 6 analysis pages in under 6 hours...ahhhh! Hopefully I won't go completely batty when this week is over!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thought #18
I am a little closer to being done with this year...
Paper #1 of this awful week is complete...now onto paper #2 - the 10-12 page one that's due in less than 24 hours...I am so ready for this semester to be over! It's been ridiculous! I need a break and a lot of sleep!
Paper #1 of this awful week is complete...now onto paper #2 - the 10-12 page one that's due in less than 24 hours...I am so ready for this semester to be over! It's been ridiculous! I need a break and a lot of sleep!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thought #17
I finished my book...
Now I've got to write two papers in two days...the paper for tomorrow is 6-8 pages, and the paper for Thursday is 10-12 pages...it is going to be a very long two days with very little sleep, if any. At least the book is complete as is one of my four finals...
Now I've got to write two papers in two days...the paper for tomorrow is 6-8 pages, and the paper for Thursday is 10-12 pages...it is going to be a very long two days with very little sleep, if any. At least the book is complete as is one of my four finals...
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thought #16
I am back at school...
I have so much homework to complete in the next four days as well as the next two weeks. I am quite overwhelmed, and I am already missing home... = (
I have so much homework to complete in the next four days as well as the next two weeks. I am quite overwhelmed, and I am already missing home... = (
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Thought #15
I need to stop procrastinating...
I am only halfway through a 300 page book which needs to be read by tomorrow because I have to write a 10-12 page paper on it by Thursday. I also need to finish reading a 150 page book to write a 6-8 page paper on that by Wednesday...so goes my life of procrastination. Sadly, even if I had not procrastinated on this book reading, I probably would still be in the same predicament or at least a very similar one because I have had very little time to do anything besides homework this semester...so many classes, so many credits, so much homework, so little time...
I am only halfway through a 300 page book which needs to be read by tomorrow because I have to write a 10-12 page paper on it by Thursday. I also need to finish reading a 150 page book to write a 6-8 page paper on that by Wednesday...so goes my life of procrastination. Sadly, even if I had not procrastinated on this book reading, I probably would still be in the same predicament or at least a very similar one because I have had very little time to do anything besides homework this semester...so many classes, so many credits, so much homework, so little time...
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Thought #14
I love being home...
I love my bed, I love my town, I love my family, I love my dog, I love my fiance, I love thunderstorms in my town, I love everything about my home.
I just love being home! <3
I love my bed, I love my town, I love my family, I love my dog, I love my fiance, I love thunderstorms in my town, I love everything about my home.
I just love being home! <3
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thought #13
I am finally home...
after 6 more weeks. I love WV and my hills and trees and beautiful scenery! So happy to be home = )
after 6 more weeks. I love WV and my hills and trees and beautiful scenery! So happy to be home = )
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Thought #12
I need to stop staying up so late...
Dejavu, anyone? Well I discovered last night that staying up for 24 hours straight does not do good things to my body...Heidi and I stayed up all night last night, and I did not sleep at all. Thankfully I got a nap later this morning, but it still messed so much with my mind. I was so confused at what day, what time, etc. it was. It was the weirdest experience ever...hopefully I will learn from this and never do it again...
Dejavu, anyone? Well I discovered last night that staying up for 24 hours straight does not do good things to my body...Heidi and I stayed up all night last night, and I did not sleep at all. Thankfully I got a nap later this morning, but it still messed so much with my mind. I was so confused at what day, what time, etc. it was. It was the weirdest experience ever...hopefully I will learn from this and never do it again...
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Thought #11
I need to stop staying up so late...
but that means I need to stop getting so much homework...so I guess the solution is to be out of school which won't happen for another month or so...oh well, it's the sad life of an English major = no sleep. I just gotta get used to it because I have two more years of this!
but that means I need to stop getting so much homework...so I guess the solution is to be out of school which won't happen for another month or so...oh well, it's the sad life of an English major = no sleep. I just gotta get used to it because I have two more years of this!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Thought #10
God gives me what I need when I need it!
Early this morning around 2 am, I was working on a paper and I began to hear a light rumble outside. God knew that I needed motivation, and He sent an amazing storm to keep me awake and keep me going! I finished that paper two hours later and was able to fall asleep to the low rumble of thunder and light raindrops. I am so thankful to God for His showings of love and mercy through His creation to me the past few days = )
Early this morning around 2 am, I was working on a paper and I began to hear a light rumble outside. God knew that I needed motivation, and He sent an amazing storm to keep me awake and keep me going! I finished that paper two hours later and was able to fall asleep to the low rumble of thunder and light raindrops. I am so thankful to God for His showings of love and mercy through His creation to me the past few days = )
Monday, April 18, 2011
Thought #9
Sometimes you just need a day off...
Today was that day, and I am so thankful that I picked today. I worked this morning for two hours and then I went to one of my afternoon classes. The other two allow four unexcused skips, and I had nothing due in either of these classes, so I decided to take a day off. After lunch, I went over to the local coffee shop, went upstairs, and popped a squat in one of the comfy chairs. I worked on homework for the next two hours and got a lot done! Then I went out to the local park with Heidi and Aaron and took an hour study break. The change in atmosphere, change in schedule, and break in the beautiful weather lifted my spirits and helped me have an amazing Monday. Sometimes you just need a break... = )
Today was that day, and I am so thankful that I picked today. I worked this morning for two hours and then I went to one of my afternoon classes. The other two allow four unexcused skips, and I had nothing due in either of these classes, so I decided to take a day off. After lunch, I went over to the local coffee shop, went upstairs, and popped a squat in one of the comfy chairs. I worked on homework for the next two hours and got a lot done! Then I went out to the local park with Heidi and Aaron and took an hour study break. The change in atmosphere, change in schedule, and break in the beautiful weather lifted my spirits and helped me have an amazing Monday. Sometimes you just need a break... = )
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Thought #8
I am so productive...
in everything except homework...I can be extremely productive in cleaning, in organizing, even in doing homework that's due later than the stuff I should be working on...I don't know why this is, but it is what it is.
in everything except homework...I can be extremely productive in cleaning, in organizing, even in doing homework that's due later than the stuff I should be working on...I don't know why this is, but it is what it is.
Thought #7
Heard this song on the radio this morning..."Forgiven" by Sanctus Real
"When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause
I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven
In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am"
I love this song as well as Sanctus Real's "I'm Not Alright." Their songs really speak well to struggling with thoughts of not being good enough and/or not being who God has us to be. In the not too distant past, I've been working on myself - working on escaping the masks I have been wearing for many years and becoming myself - becoming who God wants me to be. And these songs serve as great reminders of where I've been, where I am now, and where I am going. = )
"When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause
I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven
In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am"
I love this song as well as Sanctus Real's "I'm Not Alright." Their songs really speak well to struggling with thoughts of not being good enough and/or not being who God has us to be. In the not too distant past, I've been working on myself - working on escaping the masks I have been wearing for many years and becoming myself - becoming who God wants me to be. And these songs serve as great reminders of where I've been, where I am now, and where I am going. = )
Thought #6
5 days...
3 weeks...
6 weeks...
2 years...
Tonight I've been thinking about how we are always counting down to some specified time in the future - we are always thinking about our future - we are always looking forward to something that is happening in the future. I know I do this all the time. If I'm in school, I'm counting down to a break or to summer or to graduation. If it's summer, I'm counting down to the time I'll get to see my college friends again. I just always seem to be counting down to something...
Why don't we appreciate every day for what it's worth instead of always looking ahead? Why do we waste so many minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years thinking about the future when we could be enjoying the present?
The fact that I'm 5 days from Easter break and going home again, 3 weeks from this semester being over, 6 weeks from summer break beginning, and 2 years from graduating college does not matter in the grand scheme of today. Today God has blessed me with more time on this earth. He did not have to keep me alive today. He does not have to keep me alive another second...I do not know how long I will live. So I must live every moment to its fullest. I am going to focus on today's thought - rather than wasting time counting down and looking forward to the future, taking every moment I am graciously given and living it to the fullest - and try to live this out every day.
3 weeks...
6 weeks...
2 years...
Tonight I've been thinking about how we are always counting down to some specified time in the future - we are always thinking about our future - we are always looking forward to something that is happening in the future. I know I do this all the time. If I'm in school, I'm counting down to a break or to summer or to graduation. If it's summer, I'm counting down to the time I'll get to see my college friends again. I just always seem to be counting down to something...
Why don't we appreciate every day for what it's worth instead of always looking ahead? Why do we waste so many minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years thinking about the future when we could be enjoying the present?
The fact that I'm 5 days from Easter break and going home again, 3 weeks from this semester being over, 6 weeks from summer break beginning, and 2 years from graduating college does not matter in the grand scheme of today. Today God has blessed me with more time on this earth. He did not have to keep me alive today. He does not have to keep me alive another second...I do not know how long I will live. So I must live every moment to its fullest. I am going to focus on today's thought - rather than wasting time counting down and looking forward to the future, taking every moment I am graciously given and living it to the fullest - and try to live this out every day.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Thought #5
A few months ago, I heard a pretty awesome song on the radio, and today I was reminded of it. It's by Sanctus Real and is called "Lead Me."
Some of the lyrics go like this:
"I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside...
Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, won't You lead me?
'Cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me 'cause I can't do this alone."
I love this song so much. It not only captures how a true, Godly marriage should work, but it also encourages me because it speaks of how we don't have it all together all the time, and we always need God to be there for us and keep us in line. If God is not leading me, then I am in the wrong. I need to follow God's plan for my life, so I need to listen to His Will and follow His lead, just as I will follow my husband's lead in the future. It's not totally the same thing, since God is number one and always the first to listen to and follow, but it still applies. I just love the message this song sends and the reminder it brings me.
Some of the lyrics go like this:
"I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside...
Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, won't You lead me?
'Cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me 'cause I can't do this alone."
I love this song so much. It not only captures how a true, Godly marriage should work, but it also encourages me because it speaks of how we don't have it all together all the time, and we always need God to be there for us and keep us in line. If God is not leading me, then I am in the wrong. I need to follow God's plan for my life, so I need to listen to His Will and follow His lead, just as I will follow my husband's lead in the future. It's not totally the same thing, since God is number one and always the first to listen to and follow, but it still applies. I just love the message this song sends and the reminder it brings me.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thought #4
God is so gracious and merciful!
My week had been going by soooo painfully slowly, and so much has happened in the last two weeks not only school-wise but also just in life. So I was quite down and depressed this week. Throughout the week, God's been sending me little messages of hope through various venues. One of these being my mailbox. I have not had mail for quite a while, which usually happens during second semester; however, this week, my mail flow was constant with at least one letter received every day this week : ) Another way God showed me his constant care for me was in receiving wonderful news today. I had taken a test on Monday and did not feel good about it at all, but I received an A on it today! Also, I received an email about being accepted as a part of the Getting Started Crew next year on campus, which I am SO excited for! So, through all these things, God has shown me His faithfulness and love, and I am so thankful for it, especially this week when I needed it most.
My week had been going by soooo painfully slowly, and so much has happened in the last two weeks not only school-wise but also just in life. So I was quite down and depressed this week. Throughout the week, God's been sending me little messages of hope through various venues. One of these being my mailbox. I have not had mail for quite a while, which usually happens during second semester; however, this week, my mail flow was constant with at least one letter received every day this week : ) Another way God showed me his constant care for me was in receiving wonderful news today. I had taken a test on Monday and did not feel good about it at all, but I received an A on it today! Also, I received an email about being accepted as a part of the Getting Started Crew next year on campus, which I am SO excited for! So, through all these things, God has shown me His faithfulness and love, and I am so thankful for it, especially this week when I needed it most.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Thought #3
I have been reading through Jerry Bridges Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts as part of my devotions recently, and today, this quote really struck a chord within me:
"You can entrust your future to God...He will never allow any action against you that is not in accord with His will for you. And His will is always directed to our good."
I struggle sometimes with wondering what's going on with my life and where my life is going - what my future will look like. I try to focus on the promise of Jeremiah 29:11 that God does have a plan for me, and this plan is one which is ultimately for my good and my life is in God's hands no matter what happens. This quote just reminded me once again that I must lay my future completely in God's hands. He knows what will happen in the future, and He has planned it all. I need not worry about tomorrow. Today has enough problems of its own that I do not need to be adding stress about what I cannot control. I am definitely still working through these things, and I feel like I am not the only one who has or is struggling with this currently. So that's my thought for tonight albeit quite a deep one. The Lord knows what I need, and His plans for my life are perfect no matter how it might look or seem right now = )
"You can entrust your future to God...He will never allow any action against you that is not in accord with His will for you. And His will is always directed to our good."
I struggle sometimes with wondering what's going on with my life and where my life is going - what my future will look like. I try to focus on the promise of Jeremiah 29:11 that God does have a plan for me, and this plan is one which is ultimately for my good and my life is in God's hands no matter what happens. This quote just reminded me once again that I must lay my future completely in God's hands. He knows what will happen in the future, and He has planned it all. I need not worry about tomorrow. Today has enough problems of its own that I do not need to be adding stress about what I cannot control. I am definitely still working through these things, and I feel like I am not the only one who has or is struggling with this currently. So that's my thought for tonight albeit quite a deep one. The Lord knows what I need, and His plans for my life are perfect no matter how it might look or seem right now = )
Thought #2
The Thing Is
to love life,
to love it even when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you,
its tropical heat thickening the air,
heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weighs you like your own flesh
only more of it,
an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile,
no violet eyes,
and you say,
yes,
I will take you,
I will love you, again.
-Ellen Bass
to love life,
to love it even when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you,
its tropical heat thickening the air,
heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weighs you like your own flesh
only more of it,
an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile,
no violet eyes,
and you say,
yes,
I will take you,
I will love you, again.
-Ellen Bass
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Thought #1
Long-distance relationships are soooo hard...
These weeks and weeks and weeks apart are really catching up on me and getting to me :( This semester has been absolutely insane, so I have only been home once so far, and the semester is almost over...
I am going home in eight days, and I am so looking forward to it! Getting to talk to Dale in person rather than over the phone will be so awesome. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and my dog too and just being back in my home state, WV. EIGHT MORE DAYS!
These weeks and weeks and weeks apart are really catching up on me and getting to me :( This semester has been absolutely insane, so I have only been home once so far, and the semester is almost over...
I am going home in eight days, and I am so looking forward to it! Getting to talk to Dale in person rather than over the phone will be so awesome. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and my dog too and just being back in my home state, WV. EIGHT MORE DAYS!
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