Today I'm thinking about Hillsong's song Soon.
"I will be with the One I love. With unveiled face, I'll see Him. There my soul will be satisfied, soon and very soon."
Come quickly, Lord Jesus!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thought #37
Mayterm is over...
...and I am now home for the summer...finally! It's so weird to be back home for an extended period of time. It's weird to even be back home, since I did not come back many times this year, especially compared to last year. Anyway, summer is going to be crazy. My online class officially starts Tuesday, but I already have homework I should be working on...I have a paper from my Mayterm class that I have to complete by the end of June, and work starts Tuesday. Sooo even though it is the summer, it is definitely going to be insane, as always...=/
...and I am now home for the summer...finally! It's so weird to be back home for an extended period of time. It's weird to even be back home, since I did not come back many times this year, especially compared to last year. Anyway, summer is going to be crazy. My online class officially starts Tuesday, but I already have homework I should be working on...I have a paper from my Mayterm class that I have to complete by the end of June, and work starts Tuesday. Sooo even though it is the summer, it is definitely going to be insane, as always...=/
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Thought #36
"Wait and See"
~ Brandon Heath
I was born in Tennessee, late July humidity,
Doctors said I was lucky to be alive
I've been troubled since the day that I got here,
Troubled to the day I disappear
That'll be the day that I finally get it right
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
I never really was that good in school;
Talked too much, broke the rules
My teachers thought I was a hopeless fool, all right.
I don't know how but I made it through,
It's one of those things you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth.
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
Still wonderin' why I'm here.
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh... HE's up to something,
And the farther out I go,
I've seen enough to know
That I'm not here for nothin'...
He's up to somethin'.
So now's my time to be a man,
Follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin' where I'm ending up tonight
I never slow down (or so it seems),
But singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight.
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
GOD, teach me to trust You
Teach me to follow You
Teach me about You
GOD, bless us
GOD, lead us
~ Brandon Heath
I was born in Tennessee, late July humidity,
Doctors said I was lucky to be alive
I've been troubled since the day that I got here,
Troubled to the day I disappear
That'll be the day that I finally get it right
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
I never really was that good in school;
Talked too much, broke the rules
My teachers thought I was a hopeless fool, all right.
I don't know how but I made it through,
It's one of those things you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth.
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
Still wonderin' why I'm here.
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh... HE's up to something,
And the farther out I go,
I've seen enough to know
That I'm not here for nothin'...
He's up to somethin'.
So now's my time to be a man,
Follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin' where I'm ending up tonight
I never slow down (or so it seems),
But singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight.
There is hope, for me yet,
Because God won't forget,
All the plans HE's made for me
I have to wait and see,
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
HE's not finished with me yet,
HE's not finished with me yet
GOD, teach me to trust You
Teach me to follow You
Teach me about You
GOD, bless us
GOD, lead us
Monday, May 16, 2011
Thought #35
This was written during WW2, on the wall of a cellar, by a Jew in the Cologne concentration camp. It really spoke to me and encouraged me to keep pushing forwards even when I don't feel like it anymore.
"I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love,
even when there's no one there.
And I believe in God,
even when he is silent.
I believe through any trial,
there is always a way
But sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
My heart cries for shelter,
to know someone's there
But a voice rises within me, saying hold on
my child, I'll give you strength,
I'll give you hope. Just stay a little while.
I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love
even when there's no one there
But I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way.
May there someday be sunshine
May there someday be happiness
May there someday be love
May there someday be peace...."
- Unknown
"I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love,
even when there's no one there.
And I believe in God,
even when he is silent.
I believe through any trial,
there is always a way
But sometimes in this suffering
and hopeless despair
My heart cries for shelter,
to know someone's there
But a voice rises within me, saying hold on
my child, I'll give you strength,
I'll give you hope. Just stay a little while.
I believe in the sun
even when it is not shining
And I believe in love
even when there's no one there
But I believe in God
even when he is silent
I believe through any trial
there is always a way.
May there someday be sunshine
May there someday be happiness
May there someday be love
May there someday be peace...."
- Unknown
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Thought #34
I heard this song today, and it's my life:
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place,
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you're screaming?
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like (What it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Thought #33
I am praying for...
...peace, mercy, grace, and understanding. So many days I wish for things in my life to change, I wish for a normal life, like so many around me have...but it hasn't happened yet, so I am beginning to think that this may be my "thorn in the flesh," and I may have to live with it the rest of my life. God has a reason why the things are the way they are right now. He has a reason they aren't changing. I just have to trust Him. I have to believe that He will bring *something* good out of it as long as I keep following Him. All I can do is trust and obey.
In a Lit class recently, we read a poem by Mary Angelou, and it really spoke to me. It's called "Still I Rise," and it goes like this:
"You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
This woman went through so much in her life, but she was patient; she surpassed all that was stacked up against her, and she rose and left all that went wrong and was against her. Her life encourages me to keep pushing even when I feel like I have nothing left because with God, I can do anything, even when the future looks bleak.
...peace, mercy, grace, and understanding. So many days I wish for things in my life to change, I wish for a normal life, like so many around me have...but it hasn't happened yet, so I am beginning to think that this may be my "thorn in the flesh," and I may have to live with it the rest of my life. God has a reason why the things are the way they are right now. He has a reason they aren't changing. I just have to trust Him. I have to believe that He will bring *something* good out of it as long as I keep following Him. All I can do is trust and obey.
In a Lit class recently, we read a poem by Mary Angelou, and it really spoke to me. It's called "Still I Rise," and it goes like this:
"You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
This woman went through so much in her life, but she was patient; she surpassed all that was stacked up against her, and she rose and left all that went wrong and was against her. Her life encourages me to keep pushing even when I feel like I have nothing left because with God, I can do anything, even when the future looks bleak.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Thought #32
I am absolutely exhausted...
...so much so that I came back from class today and collapsed on my bed. I had a full day of Mayterm classes. That means, 3 straight hours of Brit Lit starting at 8 am, an hour and a half of Creative Writing till lunch then another hour and a half after lunch. I have never been so umotivated and so dead tired in my life! =/
...so much so that I came back from class today and collapsed on my bed. I had a full day of Mayterm classes. That means, 3 straight hours of Brit Lit starting at 8 am, an hour and a half of Creative Writing till lunch then another hour and a half after lunch. I have never been so umotivated and so dead tired in my life! =/
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Thought #31
I am 1/14th of the way through Mayterm...
And the 13/14ths left are going to be absolutely INSANE! But it will be SO worth it when it is done. On other news, last night was pretty rough. I tend to focus on the negatives of my life, and last night was definitely like this. God has some reason I am still on this earth. Last night I was really wanting God to just take me to Heaven, but I woke up this morning. I am still alive and here...therefore, God has some plan for me--He is not done with me or through me yet. I just have to keep trusting that He's got my best in mind, and He is doing all that is best for me.
And the 13/14ths left are going to be absolutely INSANE! But it will be SO worth it when it is done. On other news, last night was pretty rough. I tend to focus on the negatives of my life, and last night was definitely like this. God has some reason I am still on this earth. Last night I was really wanting God to just take me to Heaven, but I woke up this morning. I am still alive and here...therefore, God has some plan for me--He is not done with me or through me yet. I just have to keep trusting that He's got my best in mind, and He is doing all that is best for me.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Thought #30
This song is my life...
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
Thought #29
I've been busy...
As evidenced by the lack of posting the past two days. On Saturday, I was busy from 10 am to midnight with family and friends. I got to see Aaron play soccer in the morning, then I went out to eat with Dale in the afternoon, and I went to a late night movie with Lindsay and Jordan! All-in-all, I had a very relaxing, awesome day, enjoying every minute I was home. On Sunday after church and lunch, I headed back to school and had to pack up all my stuff and haul it across campus to another dorm for Mayterm. Late last night, Heidi and I finished organizing our room, and we passed out. Today, I worked for a bit this afternoon. The past three days have been crazy, but I am very excited for the next three weeks to fly by, so I can be back at home for the rest of the summer!
As evidenced by the lack of posting the past two days. On Saturday, I was busy from 10 am to midnight with family and friends. I got to see Aaron play soccer in the morning, then I went out to eat with Dale in the afternoon, and I went to a late night movie with Lindsay and Jordan! All-in-all, I had a very relaxing, awesome day, enjoying every minute I was home. On Sunday after church and lunch, I headed back to school and had to pack up all my stuff and haul it across campus to another dorm for Mayterm. Late last night, Heidi and I finished organizing our room, and we passed out. Today, I worked for a bit this afternoon. The past three days have been crazy, but I am very excited for the next three weeks to fly by, so I can be back at home for the rest of the summer!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thought #28
I am done with sophomore year...
And I am home. Sadly I have to go back to school Sunday to start Mayterm...oh well...gotta enjoy home while it lasts...
And I am home. Sadly I have to go back to school Sunday to start Mayterm...oh well...gotta enjoy home while it lasts...
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Thought #27
I turned in my last paper of the semester this morning...
Now I only have two more finals to go, and then I get a mini break before sum...Mayterm... =/ Three more weeks till summer - three weeks of class from 8-3 and work from 3-6 and then homework in the evenings, three weeks of little sleep and tons of learning. Then this summer, I'm taking basically two classes and working 40+ hours a week...then it's back to Cedarville for my third year. When will school end?? I just wanna teach!
= (
Now I only have two more finals to go, and then I get a mini break before sum...Mayterm... =/ Three more weeks till summer - three weeks of class from 8-3 and work from 3-6 and then homework in the evenings, three weeks of little sleep and tons of learning. Then this summer, I'm taking basically two classes and working 40+ hours a week...then it's back to Cedarville for my third year. When will school end?? I just wanna teach!
= (
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Thought #26
Today, I am thankful...
...thankful for sleep, especially after being up working for almost 40 hours straight. I am thankful as well for good friends, who bring me good memories (Tim Hortons - May 2, storage unit trip - May 3, etc). And I am thankful for grace: the grace God gives me every day when I sin, and He does not wipe me off the earth or take away my salvation as well as the grace of God given to my professors who give me second chances... = )
...thankful for sleep, especially after being up working for almost 40 hours straight. I am thankful as well for good friends, who bring me good memories (Tim Hortons - May 2, storage unit trip - May 3, etc). And I am thankful for grace: the grace God gives me every day when I sin, and He does not wipe me off the earth or take away my salvation as well as the grace of God given to my professors who give me second chances... = )
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Thought #25
I am going crazy...
I have not slept in over 24 hours (actually I kinda slept maybe an hour at most on and off this morning)...but my sleep deprivation and insane loads of homework have worn me down, and I am absolutely crazy...add to this a screaming baby from 8 to 1 today, and I have lost my mind...I'm honestly not sure how I'm gonna finish the next four days...
I have not slept in over 24 hours (actually I kinda slept maybe an hour at most on and off this morning)...but my sleep deprivation and insane loads of homework have worn me down, and I am absolutely crazy...add to this a screaming baby from 8 to 1 today, and I have lost my mind...I'm honestly not sure how I'm gonna finish the next four days...
Thought #24
I just pulled an all-nighter...
...And it was such an interesting night! haha. My Lit Analysis final paper is complete, and all that stands in between me and the end of the semester/a weekend break before Mayterm are four final exams: Adv Grammar, American Lit, Lit Analysis, and New Testament...the next two nights are going to be long ones, and I'm starting them off with no sleep already, so I am going to be a dead person very shortly...well I'm off to hopefully get an hour nap or so before getting started on Adv Grammar...it seems like the work never ends... = /
...And it was such an interesting night! haha. My Lit Analysis final paper is complete, and all that stands in between me and the end of the semester/a weekend break before Mayterm are four final exams: Adv Grammar, American Lit, Lit Analysis, and New Testament...the next two nights are going to be long ones, and I'm starting them off with no sleep already, so I am going to be a dead person very shortly...well I'm off to hopefully get an hour nap or so before getting started on Adv Grammar...it seems like the work never ends... = /
Monday, May 2, 2011
Thought #23
I was sitting on my bed...
...when I heard that Bin Laden was killed. I was working on school work at home in 4th grade when I heard that the Twin Towers had been hit. I don't know where I will be when I find out that the war is over and our troops are on their way home, but I pray that this happens during my lifetime. I know that there will never be perfect peace until Jesus returns, but having our troops home and safe would be really awesome!
I was and am kind of disturbed by all of the Facebook posts and blog posts celebrating Bin Laden's death. We are not and will not ever be a perfect country, and we definitely hold ourselves too highly at times. Last night was one of those times. Yes, we have taken down a very high, powerful enemy to this country, but that does not mean that America is above everything and everyone else.
None of this is to say that I do not support the troops. I do. Very much so. I have had many friends who are in the military, and I support them all.
But I do not believe we should be celebrating in a person (made in God's image, by the way)'s death. This article http://www.revelife.com/746839071/the-death-of-osama-bin-laden-and-the-christian-reaction/ provided good reflections on this topic.
...when I heard that Bin Laden was killed. I was working on school work at home in 4th grade when I heard that the Twin Towers had been hit. I don't know where I will be when I find out that the war is over and our troops are on their way home, but I pray that this happens during my lifetime. I know that there will never be perfect peace until Jesus returns, but having our troops home and safe would be really awesome!
I was and am kind of disturbed by all of the Facebook posts and blog posts celebrating Bin Laden's death. We are not and will not ever be a perfect country, and we definitely hold ourselves too highly at times. Last night was one of those times. Yes, we have taken down a very high, powerful enemy to this country, but that does not mean that America is above everything and everyone else.
None of this is to say that I do not support the troops. I do. Very much so. I have had many friends who are in the military, and I support them all.
But I do not believe we should be celebrating in a person (made in God's image, by the way)'s death. This article http://www.revelife.com/746839071/the-death-of-osama-bin-laden-and-the-christian-reaction/ provided good reflections on this topic.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
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