Thought #65

“And then the third night was after we broke up, which was worth a million matches but instead just took all I had. That night it felt that somehow by flicking them off the roof, the matches would burn down everything, the sparks from the tips of the flames torching the world and all the heartbroken people in it. Up in smoke I wanted everything, up in smoke I wanted you, although in a movie that wouldn’t work, even, too many effects, too showy for how tiny and bad I felt. Cut that fire from the film, no matter how much I watch it in dailies. But I want it anyway, Ed, I want what can’t possibly happen, and that is why we broke up.”
Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler

Thought #64

"Beauty From Pain"

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me (at the end of me)
Tryin' to hold to what I can't see (to what I can't see)
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Thought #63

"The Hardest Thing" by Tyler Ward

A still framed photograph of you and me together
Is all I have of you and me anymore
We were so in love that we thought it'd last forever
But we were torn by the storms

And I won't forget you
I can't forget you
And the hardest thing I've done is have to live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away
I'm lost without you, still crazy for you
Just turn around, come back
Because your smile is overdue
And I miss you

If I'd only knew the words to say
That would make you turn around (turn around)
I would say those words to you more than a million times.

It's been forever but
that hasn't changed
what you mean to me.

Darling, can't you see?

That I won't forget you
I can't forget you
And the hardest thing I've done is have to live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away
I'm lost without you, still crazy for you
Just turn around, come back
because your smile is overdue
And I miss you

I'm sorry for all I did,
what I said and things I hid
I'm finally over me
Is that too late for you?
I can't imagine where I'd be
If you had never rescued me
You showed me what it is and now I see

I won't forget you
I can't forget you
And the hardest thing I've done is have to live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away
I'm lost without you, still crazy for you
Just turn around, come back
because your smile is overdue
And I miss you