Thought #21

I took the Praxis II PLT exam this morning...

And I think it went really well!!! Other news, I went hiking with some good friends in a new section of town, and it was beautiful! : ) Now we are getting ready for Elliv 2011, and I'm psyched! Looking forward to its excitement and craziness! Only one more week till I'm a junior! :D

Thought #20

I finished my paper...

...and I corrected my other paper, which I turned in this afternoon. This week has just been ridiculous. Thankfully, it's over, and this weekend is going to be so much less stressful. Once Monday comes, though, the stress once again begins...but it will be all over in just a week! : )

Thought #19

I am about halfway done with this beast of a paper...

And I only have a little under six hours before it's due...I'm stressing out! But I am so glad I just went to bed last night instead of working more on this because I got more accomplished sleeping than I would have attempting to write...and I work better under pressure anyways, so here I am working like a madwoman trying to write 6 analysis pages in under 6 hours...ahhhh! Hopefully I won't go completely batty when this week is over!

Thought #18

I am a little closer to being done with this year...

Paper #1 of this awful week is complete...now onto paper #2 - the 10-12 page one that's due in less than 24 hours...I am so ready for this semester to be over! It's been ridiculous! I need a break and a lot of sleep!

Thought #17

I finished my book...

Now I've got to write two papers in two days...the paper for tomorrow is 6-8 pages, and the paper for Thursday is 10-12 pages...it is going to be a very long two days with very little sleep, if any. At least the book is complete as is one of my four finals...

Thought #16

I am back at school...

I have so much homework to complete in the next four days as well as the next two weeks. I am quite overwhelmed, and I am already missing home... = (

Thought #15

I need to stop procrastinating...

I am only halfway through a 300 page book which needs to be read by tomorrow because I have to write a 10-12 page paper on it by Thursday. I also need to finish reading a 150 page book to write a 6-8 page paper on that by Wednesday...so goes my life of procrastination. Sadly, even if I had not procrastinated on this book reading, I probably would still be in the same predicament or at least a very similar one because I have had very little time to do anything besides homework this semester...so many classes, so many credits, so much homework, so little time...

Thought #14

I love being home...

I love my bed, I love my town, I love my family, I love my dog, I love my fiance, I love thunderstorms in my town, I love everything about my home.

I just love being home! <3

Thought #13

I am finally home...

after 6 more weeks. I love WV and my hills and trees and beautiful scenery! So happy to be home = )

Thought #12

I need to stop staying up so late...

Dejavu, anyone? Well I discovered last night that staying up for 24 hours straight does not do good things to my body...Heidi and I stayed up all night last night, and I did not sleep at all. Thankfully I got a nap later this morning, but it still messed so much with my mind. I was so confused at what day, what time, etc. it was. It was the weirdest experience ever...hopefully I will learn from this and never do it again...

Thought #11

I need to stop staying up so late...

but that means I need to stop getting so much homework...so I guess the solution is to be out of school which won't happen for another month or so...oh well, it's the sad life of an English major = no sleep. I just gotta get used to it because I have two more years of this!

Thought #10

God gives me what I need when I need it!

Early this morning around 2 am, I was working on a paper and I began to hear a light rumble outside. God knew that I needed motivation, and He sent an amazing storm to keep me awake and keep me going! I finished that paper two hours later and was able to fall asleep to the low rumble of thunder and light raindrops. I am so thankful to God for His showings of love and mercy through His creation to me the past few days = )

Thought #9

Sometimes you just need a day off...

Today was that day, and I am so thankful that I picked today. I worked this morning for two hours and then I went to one of my afternoon classes. The other two allow four unexcused skips, and I had nothing due in either of these classes, so I decided to take a day off. After lunch, I went over to the local coffee shop, went upstairs, and popped a squat in one of the comfy chairs. I worked on homework for the next two hours and got a lot done! Then I went out to the local park with Heidi and Aaron and took an hour study break. The change in atmosphere, change in schedule, and break in the beautiful weather lifted my spirits and helped me have an amazing Monday. Sometimes you just need a break... = )

Thought #8

I am so productive...

in everything except homework...I can be extremely productive in cleaning, in organizing, even in doing homework that's due later than the stuff I should be working on...I don't know why this is, but it is what it is.

Thought #7

Heard this song on the radio this morning..."Forgiven" by Sanctus Real

"When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause

I’m forgiven
I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am"

I love this song as well as Sanctus Real's "I'm Not Alright." Their songs really speak well to struggling with thoughts of not being good enough and/or not being who God has us to be. In the not too distant past, I've been working on myself - working on escaping the masks I have been wearing for many years and becoming myself - becoming who God wants me to be. And these songs serve as great reminders of where I've been, where I am now, and where I am going. = )

Thought #6

5 days...
3 weeks...
6 weeks...
2 years...

Tonight I've been thinking about how we are always counting down to some specified time in the future - we are always thinking about our future - we are always looking forward to something that is happening in the future. I know I do this all the time. If I'm in school, I'm counting down to a break or to summer or to graduation. If it's summer, I'm counting down to the time I'll get to see my college friends again. I just always seem to be counting down to something...

Why don't we appreciate every day for what it's worth instead of always looking ahead? Why do we waste so many minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years thinking about the future when we could be enjoying the present?

The fact that I'm 5 days from Easter break and going home again, 3 weeks from this semester being over, 6 weeks from summer break beginning, and 2 years from graduating college does not matter in the grand scheme of today. Today God has blessed me with more time on this earth. He did not have to keep me alive today. He does not have to keep me alive another second...I do not know how long I will live. So I must live every moment to its fullest. I am going to focus on today's thought - rather than wasting time counting down and looking forward to the future, taking every moment I am graciously given and living it to the fullest - and try to live this out every day.

Thought #5

A few months ago, I heard a pretty awesome song on the radio, and today I was reminded of it. It's by Sanctus Real and is called "Lead Me."

Some of the lyrics go like this:
"I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside...
Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, won't You lead me?
'Cause I can't do this alone
Father, lead me 'cause I can't do this alone."

I love this song so much. It not only captures how a true, Godly marriage should work, but it also encourages me because it speaks of how we don't have it all together all the time, and we always need God to be there for us and keep us in line. If God is not leading me, then I am in the wrong. I need to follow God's plan for my life, so I need to listen to His Will and follow His lead, just as I will follow my husband's lead in the future. It's not totally the same thing, since God is number one and always the first to listen to and follow, but it still applies. I just love the message this song sends and the reminder it brings me.

Thought #4

God is so gracious and merciful!

My week had been going by soooo painfully slowly, and so much has happened in the last two weeks not only school-wise but also just in life. So I was quite down and depressed this week. Throughout the week, God's been sending me little messages of hope through various venues. One of these being my mailbox. I have not had mail for quite a while, which usually happens during second semester; however, this week, my mail flow was constant with at least one letter received every day this week : ) Another way God showed me his constant care for me was in receiving wonderful news today. I had taken a test on Monday and did not feel good about it at all, but I received an A on it today! Also, I received an email about being accepted as a part of the Getting Started Crew next year on campus, which I am SO excited for! So, through all these things, God has shown me His faithfulness and love, and I am so thankful for it, especially this week when I needed it most.

Thought #3

I have been reading through Jerry Bridges Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts as part of my devotions recently, and today, this quote really struck a chord within me:

"You can entrust your future to God...He will never allow any action against you that is not in accord with His will for you. And His will is always directed to our good."

I struggle sometimes with wondering what's going on with my life and where my life is going - what my future will look like. I try to focus on the promise of Jeremiah 29:11 that God does have a plan for me, and this plan is one which is ultimately for my good and my life is in God's hands no matter what happens. This quote just reminded me once again that I must lay my future completely in God's hands. He knows what will happen in the future, and He has planned it all. I need not worry about tomorrow. Today has enough problems of its own that I do not need to be adding stress about what I cannot control. I am definitely still working through these things, and I feel like I am not the only one who has or is struggling with this currently. So that's my thought for tonight albeit quite a deep one. The Lord knows what I need, and His plans for my life are perfect no matter how it might look or seem right now = )

Thought #2

The Thing Is

to love life,
to love it even when you have no stomach for it

and everything you've held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,

your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you,
its tropical heat thickening the air,
heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs;

when grief weighs you like your own flesh

only more of it,
an obesity of grief,

you think, How can a body withstand this?

Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face,

no charming smile,
no violet eyes,

and you say,
yes,
I will take you,

I will love you, again.

-Ellen Bass

Thought #1

Long-distance relationships are soooo hard...

These weeks and weeks and weeks apart are really catching up on me and getting to me :( This semester has been absolutely insane, so I have only been home once so far, and the semester is almost over...

I am going home in eight days, and I am so looking forward to it! Getting to talk to Dale in person rather than over the phone will be so awesome. I'm looking forward to seeing my family and my dog too and just being back in my home state, WV. EIGHT MORE DAYS!